So, here I am a week into my course. I don't think I mentioned what I was studying. I suspect that is because I am slightly embarrassed. Not because it's an embarrassing subject matter. Is there such a thing? Pornographic Photography for Beginners? Networking Skills for the Socially Challenged? No. My embarrassment lies in what it might say about me.It's an Open University course on Creative Writing. There! I've said it. It's not that I necessarily think that I have a novel in me, although that would be nice, or have a burning desire to have my insightful poetry published. (Don't worry! There isn't any poetry.) Really it just seemed to be the natural progression from why I started to post these little musings, a creative outlet, an opportunity to study what I enjoy.
But now I am one week in and I have to publish something for my whole online tutor group to read. I don't know these people other than the snippets of information about themselves that they have carefully chosen to share. I doubt I will ever meet them in real life. I thought that that would make it less daunting to put myself up for criticism. So much better, I thought, than sitting in an evening class in a church hall reading my work out to people that I might run into in Tesco's the next day. And I still think that. I am nervous about posting my effort to have it shot down in flames but I am happier doing it anonymously through the medium of the world wide web.
But I have a much bigger problem. I haven't actually got anything to post.
The brief is clear and I have sat down plenty of times and produced something. Some of it is OK I think but none of it does what the brief asks for. Somehow it just won't come. I would call it writers' block but for the fact that it sounds hideously pretentious. I'm not a writer and I'm not blocked. I just can't answer the question!
Others in my tutor group have posted theirs and so the pressure is really on. And here I am blogging because I know where I am with my blog. Today I have to write something on brief that I can publish. OK. I'm going to go and get on with it. When I've made some coffee, and set the table and the dishwasher needs emptying and I'll just put on some washing .........