EVENING MALAISE

The list of things that I was going to do this evening is almost endless. The main contenders for my attention, in no particular order, are:
- buns for Children in Need tomorrow;
- making a dint in my mountain of ironing;
- going to the gym;
- starting the flowers for my mum's birthday cake;
- working on my course;
- reading my Wilkie Collins for book club.

In fact, apart from the buns which could not be put off, I haven't done much. I have ended up messing about on facebook with a glass of wine. Fun but not terribly productive. It's early. There is still time to do something more worthy. Plenty of time - but no drive! It's not like I am on my knees or completely exhausted or anything. I just can't be bothered.

I never used to be like this. If it needed doing then Imogen, the human whirlwind would do it. Now it's more like Imogen, the strong breeze. But does it really matter? It will all get done. Everything always does but not before I have a wobble about having too much on and a bit of a shout.

Maybe I am just unrealistic about how much can be achieved in one day? I wouldn't be the first. What I am getting better at though is managing the guilt that comes with failure to achieve. After all, it's not like I sit around all day doing nothing. The list of jobs done is generally pretty long even if I never quite get to its end.

So I shall enjoy my drink and when I have published this perhaps I will pick up The Woman in White and get a couple more chapters under my belt. I might even nick a bun!